Breaking up shouldn’t be this hard
I remember when things were simple. When breaking up with your boyfriend in the middle of the schoolyard was miniscule. Life was easy, and the pain felt from a break up was something imaginary. We hopped from boy to boy as if we were globetrotting. Never intimate but just curious as to what if felt like to have a boyfriend. We wanted the sense of adulthood and the slight pang of heartbreak. Just to say we’ve been through it. With age, our understanding of relationships and men begin to develop.
Then the need to be in a relationship kicks in, hoping to find someone that will fulfill your needs. When you finally do, the relationship has given you the best and worst days of your life, and you think… this is what it’s really like to have a boyfriend. And your relationship with “Michael” from your eighth grade class feels like nothing. But it’s not until you’re breaking up with your current beau that you miss that feeling of nothing. The “life moves on” type of attitude. The capability of being without this person. The feeling that everything will be all right.
Could it be that in our younger years we don’t care because we don’t long for a connection? There is no rush to get married. There is no expectation of a forever relationship. So it hurts more when we are older. When we invest more into the relationship. Investing back then meant sitting with each other at lunch and passing notes all day in class. Time definitely wasn’t of the essence.
This time, dealing with a breakup we become frantic and jump onto the nearest lifeboat. We find a safe place to hide until we are ready to face the breakup. The best way to deal with a break up is to deal with it right away so that you can move on. Definitely get some closure to the relationship. Talk about the good times and discuss what went wrong in the relationship. This is a learning process just as much as it is a breakup. But if the relationship has an extensive history, allow for some time to heal. THEN become friends. Breaking all ties is another good way to get over someone. Remove them from all social media, and from all topics of conversation. However, if the relationship ended badly it’s good to forgive the person instead of holding on to what occurred.
As for dealing with the pain, cry, cry, and cry some more. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying. It shows that you’re actually feeling something. That you’re in tune with your emotions. Breaking up is difficult, but it’s good to learn how to cope. Don’t you wish you were young and naïve again?
Miquira J.
