Mothers are supposed to be nurturing and loving people. We go to them when we have a booboo and when our heart is broken. In the child’s eyes, their mother is a real-life super hero. For daughters we become closer to our mothers over time, to the point she is like a best friend. We are so used to seeing our mothers in mommy role that we forget she’s also human. She feels the same emotions that we acquire yet mother-daughter jealousy still comes as a shock to many people.
Mothers are there to give their daughters support, love and to guide them through life. Some mother’s can’t do this because they are envious of their daughters. They are envious of some quality that the daughter possesses that they wish they had. This can be beauty, intelligence, or personality. Perhaps they wish they can live their life, or could have the type of relationship the daughter has with her boyfriend. Narcissistic mothers are usually the type of mothers who are jealous of their daughters. If attention is drawn away from the mother, the daughter suffers put downs, retaliation and even punishments.
It’s hard for the daughters to understand and discuss the fact that their mother is jealous of them. The daughter cannot understand why her mother would have these specific feelings toward her. Jealousy is expected from friends and even other family members but never your own mother. Envy allows the mom to boost her ego by putting her daughter down to make herself feel better. Since her daughter is considered a threat, doing this diminishes that feeling of being in competition.
Telling your mom about herself is difficult, because at the end of the day she is still your mother. Someone you love and appreciate, but that is no reason to allow her to ridicule you. Rather than suffering in silence and diminishing your shine to please her, talk to her about how you feel. If you prefer dealing with it, without confronting her deal with her accordingly so that you can live your life without restraints.
