Are You Head-Over-Heels, In Love with Your “Toxic Ex”?
Let’s say that your “toxic ex” is the highest, most painful heels you have in your closet. Now let’s say those heels are miraculously your favorite pair. You feel good in them, and they’re just extremely fashionable. Although they give you blisters, make you walk funny and create a higher chance for bunions, you still wear them. All because you feel good in them. How does this relate to your “toxic ex?” Because you go back to him all because he makes you feel good in the moment. Mean while you end up with “blisters and bunions,” after everything. Makes sense now doesn’t it.
There are many reasons as to why women take back their toxic ex. And by toxic I mean the ex that has done wrong and hurtful things within the relationship. I.E. cheating, excessively lying, lack of commitment, even verbal/physical abuse, and the many more bad things you can name.
The main reason women take back these type of men is because “I still love him.” I wish I had a dollar for each time I heard that one. I would be lying if I said that it’s that simple. To just let him go. But obviously it’s not! It’s like pulling your own teeth. It will hurt but it’s better to move on than to return to a relationship you already know the story to. All you’re doing is reliving the situation every single time you allow him back into your life.
We have a tendency to allow them back in because we are so hopeful. We believe them when they say it will be different and that they’ve changed. Even if it’s the 4th, 5th, 6th, time they’re telling us this. All because we are holding on to the idea of loving him. But what exactly are you benefiting from in that relationship?
We are also so focused on the amount of time and energy we have invested. Who cares now?! He’s your past for a reason. Unless there is a child(ren) or a dog involved what reason is there not to break ties? Especially if he disappoints you time and time again.
I always wondered for myself and for other women a reason. A reason why its so easy to take them back. Besides the fact that you love him, subtract that from the equation. Add all the cute things he says, minus the actions that are supposed to accompany what he promises. Basically you have nothing. We make it so hard for men to enter our lives when they’re being saints. But so easy when they continuously do everything wrong.
Do we take them back because we are so weak after we’ve broken up with them (again)? We don’t want to sleep alone or enjoy the minimal luxuries of being single. Perhaps we’re just tired of looking for Mr. Right that we settle for Mr. Wrong.
Miquira J.
