settling

Enough is Enough: Take a Stand against being a Pushover!

In a cruel world, it’s so hard to be nice to people. People often take kindness for weakness and that’s when they begin to take advantage of you. As women we’re more susceptible to being push overs and allowing people to walk all over us. In the beginning it goes unnoticed, but after a while it becomes over whelming, and you realize you’re tired of this person/people taking advantage of you. That’s when you say enough is enough.

Don’t be a Pushover!

It’s time to grow a backbone, stop allowing people to do whatever and say whatever they please. Re-evaluate yourself, if you noticed that you are not likely to say how you feel or defend yourself then people will continue to act the same way towards you. They will continue because they know you won’t say anything about it. An example would be friends constantly asking for favors because they know that you won’t say no to them. There’s nothing wrong with doing favors for friends but there has to be a limit of course.

Let’s Just be Honest!

Another way to know if you’re a pushover is if you say sorry, even if you did nothing wrong. What exactly are you saying sorry for? Many times people say sorry during three different occasions, when they’re genuinely sorry, when they don’t want people to be upset with them, or because the other person won’t wave their white flag. Don’t say sorry just for the heck of it, know why you’re saying sorry and acknowledge if you did something wrong. If you didn’t then don’t apologize when you don’t even mean it.

Never Settle for Less!

Don’t become a settling Sally, because you rather avoid confrontation. There’s absolutely now way to avoid confrontation your whole life. It’s bound to happen. It’s okay to disagree with your friends, family or lover. They should be able to live with the fact that you have your own opinion. You should be able to say how you feel when you feel it. Just because someone says one thing, and you say another doesn’t mean you just go along with the program to steer clear of a heated conversation. Speaking up will let others know that you’re not a doormat, and you actually have a say-so.

The power to stay through hell and high water seems to be embedded in the female DNA. With the exception of few females who won’t take no nonsense from their man. But whenever women find them selves in an unhealthy relationship, women often question what is making them stay. I’m sure psychologist have appointed “love” for being the reason women deal with men and their mistakes.

This may be true, but it has to do with more than just loving that person. It’s the feeling of not wanting to be alone, the aching reminder that our maternal clock is ticking, and the feeling of needing this person. Women are always so convinced that they need their man, when they actually don’t. You want him, maybe until next week, maybe forever.

If a person was to go from woman to woman, asking why women stay in unhealthy relationships there would be different reasons. There would be answers like settling, promising of change from their partner; there are children involved, and many other reasons. Whatever the reason may be, it seems that love isn’t enough to keep any relationship alive and healthy.

Staying with someone you really don’t want to be with can become a major mistake. In the end it will make you feel stuck. Down the line you wouldn’t want to regret staying with a person that didn’t make you happy. It’s entirely different if you’re trying to give him a chance to redeem his self, compared to staying and forgiving him after repeated, “mistakes.” They are no longer mistakes if it keeps happening.

Because women don’t mind giving the benefit of the doubt to their man, women slack off on telling their boyfriends how they feel. What about their behavior is bothering them. Women are so wrapped around the idea of “forever” and marriage that oftentimes we become afraid to speak up. All because women want that fairy tale ending so badly. No fairy tale should be worth your happiness.

Miquira J.