We all remember asking for a Baby Born or a Baby Alive when we were younger. The unsure look on our mother’s faces on whether to buy the doll for us. They were afraid to expose us to the idea of having a baby. Nonetheless, we got the doll. For me, I remember pushing the baby around in my toy stroller, feeding it and changing it when I cared enough to do so.
As we grow up there’s this period where the thought of having a baby is used to scare us. So girls become more concerned with the idea of having a boyfriend and hanging out with her friends. When I was a teenager my mom would always stress that I needed to be focused on my books, boys will always be around and there is no room for babies in her house. During this time I had an extreme fear of having a baby, whether it is by accident or on purpose. The way my mother described it was that having a baby would ruin my life and I had some major dreams.
Going to an all girls school nick-named the baby factory, didn’t quite sit well with me. I didn’t want to be part of the school statistic. My Spanish teacher even made a bet, that if her students graduated from college without a baby, and they returned for a visit she’ll give each girl $20. So that was motivation for me to protect myself and ensure that I didn’t get pregnant. I wanted to prove something, that I was capable.
But pregnancies became more common amongst my friends and people I went to school with. Every time I checked Facebook there was someone else I knew that was pregnant. It’s like when women reach their 20’s everyone around them wants to pop a baby out. At a point I began to feel that I wasn’t up to par with my old classmates and my friends. I began to become weary that my turn was coming soon; I’d break down if I got my period two days late. I knew I wasn’t ready for a baby. I wasn’t ready to share my friends either.
Although I would get the occasional baby fever, I wasn’t adequate enough to be some one’s mother. Plus my boyfriend discouraged any thought of a mini “us.” I was more concerned about losing my friends, because I know that babies have this tendency to take up all the time people have. There will be no more parties every other weekend, shopping for just us, sleep overs, or random drink dates.
It wasn’t until my cousin had my Goddaughter that I realized that life doesn’t stop for those with children. We have a closer relationship now, and she still wants to go out for drinks and party when we can. It’s not hard to keep a relationship with your pregnant friends or friends with kids. Yes you may not have kids at the moment, but planning dates or just going for a visit can keep the relationship going. When you finally have kids, you’ll be glad that you have someone to give you advice and plan play dates with.