People can’t help whom they fall in love with, who they’re dating or who they’re married too. So there are times when women engage in a relationship with a man who has children or worse, they end up taking care of children that are products of infidelity. Even if the relationship was on a break, you wouldn’t expect him to step out on the relationship have relations with someone else and then impregnate her. It’s worse to know he didn’t use a condom with this woman, or perhaps she set him up. Whatever the excuse may be, as a wife, a girlfriend, as women in general we forgive so easily. When deciding to forgive, we also take on the role of the “stepmother.” Regardless if he had children when you guys met, or it is an outcome of infidelity.
Taking on the role of a stepmother is a complex situation because it can either go smoothly or turn into a three ring circus. As mother’s we are protective over our children. Therefore, the mother of his children will probably want to know who you are, and how often you are around her children. This is normal but she shouldn’t want to fight you just because you’re dating her ex-boyfriend. She definitely should stay in her lane if the children are a product of your husbands or boyfriends infidelity. However everyone should respect one another for the sake of the children.
Of course the structure of a perfect family cannot develop overnight. It will take time for the children to become comfortable with you since you aren’t their birth mother. But you should make them feel comfortable around you, treat them the way you would treat your own children. Over time, the mother of his children will have to respect you and your relationship him. She has to know that you’re not going anywhere for a long time and that you will serve as a second mother. Once everyone feels at ease about the situation, then the family can begin to develop and hopefully become firm.
