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#HipHop4Her: Are You Tired of Being a Pushover???

#HipHop4Her: Are You Tired of Being a Pushover??? | FM Hip Hop

#HipHop4Her: Are You Tired of Being a Pushover??? | FM Hip Hop

 

Enough is Enough: Take a Stand against being a Pushover!

In a cruel world, it’s so hard to be nice to people. People often take kindness for weakness and that’s when they begin to take advantage of you. As women we’re more susceptible to being push overs and allowing people to walk all over us. In the beginning it goes unnoticed, but after a while it becomes over whelming, and you realize you’re tired of this person/people taking advantage of you. That’s when you say enough is enough.

Don’t be a Pushover!

It’s time to grow a backbone, stop allowing people to do whatever and say whatever they please. Re-evaluate yourself, if you noticed that you are not likely to say how you feel or defend yourself then people will continue to act the same way towards you. They will continue because they know you won’t say anything about it. An example would be friends constantly asking for favors because they know that you won’t say no to them. There’s nothing wrong with doing favors for friends but there has to be a limit of course.

Let’s Just be Honest!

Another way to know if you’re a pushover is if you say sorry, even if you did nothing wrong. What exactly are you saying sorry for? Many times people say sorry during three different occasions, when they’re genuinely sorry, when they don’t want people to be upset with them, or because the other person won’t wave their white flag. Don’t say sorry just for the heck of it, know why you’re saying sorry and acknowledge if you did something wrong. If you didn’t then don’t apologize when you don’t even mean it.

Never Settle for Less!

Don’t become a settling Sally, because you rather avoid confrontation. There’s absolutely now way to avoid confrontation your whole life. It’s bound to happen. It’s okay to disagree with your friends, family or lover. They should be able to live with the fact that you have your own opinion. You should be able to say how you feel when you feel it. Just because someone says one thing, and you say another doesn’t mean you just go along with the program to steer clear of a heated conversation. Speaking up will let others know that you’re not a doormat, and you actually have a say-so.

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#HipHop4Her: Why Do Women Stay With The Bad Guy?

The power to stay through hell and high water seems to be embedded in the female DNA. With the exception of few females who won’t take no nonsense from their man. But whenever women find them selves in an unhealthy relationship, women often question what is making them stay. I’m sure psychologist have appointed “love” for being the reason women deal with men and their mistakes.

This may be true, but it has to do with more than just loving that person. It’s the feeling of not wanting to be alone, the aching reminder that our maternal clock is ticking, and the feeling of needing this person. Women are always so convinced that they need their man, when they actually don’t. You want him, maybe until next week, maybe forever.

If a person was to go from woman to woman, asking why women stay in unhealthy relationships there would be different reasons. There would be answers like settling, promising of change from their partner; there are children involved, and many other reasons. Whatever the reason may be, it seems that love isn’t enough to keep any relationship alive and healthy.

Staying with someone you really don’t want to be with can become a major mistake. In the end it will make you feel stuck. Down the line you wouldn’t want to regret staying with a person that didn’t make you happy. It’s entirely different if you’re trying to give him a chance to redeem his self, compared to staying and forgiving him after repeated, “mistakes.” They are no longer mistakes if it keeps happening.

Because women don’t mind giving the benefit of the doubt to their man, women slack off on telling their boyfriends how they feel. What about their behavior is bothering them. Women are so wrapped around the idea of “forever” and marriage that oftentimes we become afraid to speak up. All because women want that fairy tale ending so badly. No fairy tale should be worth your happiness.

Miquira J.

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#HipHop4Her: The Modern Woman

Women have evolved through time, mainly in societal manners. In the past women were never seen as the breadwinner. Women were the nurturers, the ones to stay home and take care of the children. Get the groceries, clean the house and make sure there is food on the table when the husband goes on. Of course some of the ideologies of how a woman should be stuck around through time. Women are still considered the nurturers but at the same time have the capability of bringing home the money. With Hillary Clinton running for office, there is nothing you can tell the modern woman these days.

Women have become a threat to men; they are competition for jobs and competition for successes. A woman in a power position seem to strike a nerve in the minds of men. Women shouldn’t make more money, than men. Women shouldn’t have a CEO title next to their name. And women shouldn’t beat men at anything, especially sports. It’s like a stab to their integrity. However with the years passing, women are making it a mission to become noticed by society. That they too are making power moves because women are still behind in owning leadership roles.

Despite the fact that women may not acquire as many leadership roles, they receive 60 percent of undergraduate degrees and 60 percent of master’s degrees. They own 47 percent of law degrees and 48 percent of medical degrees. The advancement of women has grown immensely through years but doesn’t change the fact that they are still treated differently in the work place. Women still earn 78 cents to a man’s $1. It is an even wider gap with women of color compared to white men.

In the 1980’s there were no women in any rankings of the Fortune 100, by 2001 11 percent of those corporate leaders were women. Even though the rankings have changed women still struggle with achieving leadership positions. The percentage of women on United States corporate boards has been stuck in the 12.1-12.3 percent range for the past decade. As for Hillary Clinton running for the presidential candidacy, this can motivate more women to start their own businesses, become lawyers, doctors, editors, and CEO’s.

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#HipHop4Her: Love Thy Breast

We all went through the growing pains, when going through puberty. The pang in our chest and sensitivity of our nipples made it hard to put a T-shirt on. Girls are so excited to buy training bras and eventually their first actual bra. It’s an announcement when we buy our first bra from Victoria’s Secret. The feeling of womanhood begins to set in because we finally have our breast!

Developing breast is a big deal and having breast is an even bigger deal. Men and women equally love breast, for obvious reasons of course. Men appreciate the feel, the size, and the idea of breast. While women can feel the same we’re more focused on how breast make us look and what breast represents.

Breasts are a key factor in being a women but it serves a purpose besides to fill up your shirt. The purpose of breasts is to feed a baby, after pregnancy. After puberty, an adult female breast is made of 15-20 lobes within each lobe is 20-40 lobules. These lobules are connected to ducts in the breasts; altogether there are 10 ducts that are connected to the nipple.

As for the nipple, the reason it stiffens when stimulated or during breastfeeding is because of muscle tissue. The glands on the areola lubricate the nipple during breastfeeding. So if you noticed tiny bumps on your areola, don’t panic! It’s completely normal. Don’t squeeze them like pimples to get rid of them; they’re there for a reason.

Since breasts are so important to the female anatomy and can pose risks for breast cancer; doctors suggest a breast self-exam. Aside from making an appointment to receive a mammogram, adult women should do self-examination once a month. According to Johns Hopkins Medical Center, “40 percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump.” Women can perform a breast self-exam three different ways, in the shower, in the mirror and lying down.

It’s important for women to check their breast constantly. Finding a lump early can make a huge difference because it could be an early detection of breast cancer. If you do find a lump, it is wise to go to your doctor to have them look at it. It is also best to monitor the lump for any thickening, hardening or enlargement. If your family has had breast or ovarian cancer, especially before 50 you are at a higher risk of also contracting breast cancer. Breast cancer is the second leading cause of death among women, 1 in 8 women are diagnosed in their lifetime. Save your breast with a simple check up.

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#HipHop4Her: First Date Jitters

The first date with a new man is always nerve wrecking. You don’t want to form a bad first impression nor do you want to be known as the girl that had greens in her teeth. As females we want everything to go perfect cause it just might be the start of something new. But just in case we discuss a full on escape plan with our girls. There’s no way to plan out the perfect first date, it seems impossible to have one. However there are ways to ensure you’re not the one who blows the mood and ensure that your first impression will stick in his head.

Finding an outfit is always hard, for women. So imagine trying to find an outfit so that we can look cute for a night like this. Should you wear jeans or should you wear that tight dress that makes your ass look great? It actually all depends on where your date is going to the take you that night. You don’t want wear your favorite LBD and heels to the movie theater. Then you’ll just stick out like a sore thumb, so ask your date what he has planned for you guys.

If he has asked for your input on where the date should be, speak up! This allows you to fill him on what you like a little bit. Don’t just respond with “I don’t know,” or “It’s whatever you want to do.” He can end up taking you on a cheap date. So if you’re in the mood for some seafood, suggest some seafood restaurants to him. One suggestion is to avoid the usual movie date, because you are unable to converse with your date while the movie is rolling. You can, but that would be rather rude of you guys. Try going for an environment where the two of you can get to know one another.

When leaving your house, don’t forget to tuck your confidence into your clutch. Being confident on your date can attract him even more. Even if you need to get your hair and nails done to give you a confidence boost. Men like women who are confident so if you’re aiming to get a second date be sure in yourself. Having confidence in yourself and trust that the date will go well is enough security to assure you it will.

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#HipHop4Her: One Night Only

One-night stands are confusing. Only because there are many reasons as to why that took place. It could be vulnerability, the desperation or the courage you found at the bottom of your drink. No matter what reason it is, we end up asking ourselves why? We most likely ask ourselves this question during the sex if it’s far from what we expected.

Or we ask ourselves in the middle of the night when we’re sneaking off. Sometimes we’re so befuddled we don’t even remember how we ended up with our clothes off in the bedroom of this not-so-familiar person. Perhaps he was a friend that we had sexual tension with and just wanted to go for a text drive. After it all, we realize it was a bad idea (either way). So who ever the person is and however it happened we know it won’t happen again.

Temptation is the devil on all of our shoulders, and it probably the reason that the one-night stand happened in the first place. Since these situations aren’t your forte, the feeling of disgust and worry that you didn’t just do something stupid. Trying to remember if you recall using a condom since you were in a drunken stupor at the time. If you can’t remember it’s best to make an appointment with your GYN to get tested for every STD you can think of. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

If you only know as far as the person’s name, then you shouldn’t have to worry about contacting him later. Obviously the intention wasn’t to get to know each other, on a mental level at least. If the person was an acquaintance maybe you should bring it up to him later after what happened has processed in your and his mind. Of course you wouldn’t want to feel awkward around him when you see him again. After all he has seen you naked. Besides that’s not the most embarrassing part. It’s the walk of shame, after it is done.

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#HipHop4Her: I Spy, A Cheating Guy

Your man is acting funny. He’s super attached to his phone, you’ve witnessed him deleting texts, and he’s answering phone calls feet away from you and constantly making up excuses when you want to spend some time with him. Despite the unsettling idea of finding something you don’t want to see, you still check his phone. Especially if you suspect him of cheating, but if you already feel like he is then he most likely is. It’s women’s intuition, when we know we just know. There are telltale signs that tell us our man is cheating on us and we just ignore them. Even though the signs are flashing like huge bright lights in our faces. We ignore it because it’s every woman’s fear, to be cheated on by someone she loves. Because we all know that unfaithfulness is known to make a woman bitter.

So besides checking his phone, how do you know your man is cheating on you? When a person begins to find interest in another person they begin to want to look good. It’s like polishing the items in your store so that they can sell. If your man didn’t care about working out before then all of a sudden he’s constantly at the gym he’s probably trying to look good for someone else. Or if he wasn’t about fixing himself up all the time, but then begins to change his wardrobe so he can look dapper all the time maybe you should question whom he’s trying to impress. Noticing him spending more time with his friends? That’s a problem, since when are they so important that he must be with them six days out of the week, or every night. What exactly is he doing and is he really going to the bars (again)?

When being in a committed relationship, couples tend to build trust when it comes to having sex. So condom use is minimal, if used at all. So if you find condoms, excluding the one he has had in his wallet since he was 15. Then definitely confront him about it, because if you’re not using them in the relationship then why exactly does he need them. Maybe even count how many he has stashed away keep it in mind and if you notice they are disappearing it’s time for you to bring it up in conversation. When you confront him and he turns the tables on you, questioning your faithfulness you should be weary. When one finger is pointing at you, two fingers are pointing back at him.

When your gut is screaming and telling you he is cheating just go with it, because your gut is almost always telling you the truth. Of course women like concrete evidence, we need to see it with our own eyes. If the evidence will make you more confident in leaving his two-timing ass then the next time he goes out follow him, and all roads will lead to your revelation.

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#HipHop4Her: The Issue With Double Standards

Society revolves around the idea of double standards. If double standards didn’t exist then the world would be a completely different place. The double standards of men and women always seem to trip me up. Why does it seem like men are allowed to do whatever, whomever, and whenever they want. Women can do the same but just to a certain degree. As women I know many of us tend to wonder where exactly did this double standard come from? For those who are not sure what a double standard means it is any code or set of principles containing different provisions for one group of people than for another.

The most common double standard is the freedom given to men to sow their wild oats. While women must keep our legs crossed and wear panties with bolts and locks on it. What makes it so distasteful for a woman to explore her options before she gets married? People of course form many reasons for this question, with answers like “It looks bad for her reputation,” or “The vagina is more scared than the penis.” This may be true but who said that women want a man who sleeps with everyone and plants his seeds anywhere. NO THANK YOU.

Men and women both feel pressures from society to be a certain way in order to fit in. But overweight women suffer from more prejudice than overweight men. Women need to have no waist, thick thighs, nice boobs, and a nice butt. So women work their ass off just to keep up with the societal standards. The constant work out sessions or surgical procedures to just be seen as someone with potential. On the hand men are ridiculed for being overweight with that being associated with being sloppy and unkempt. It’s just that men don’t fall to the pressures of being judged for being overweight.

It is in the innate being of a man, to be aggressive, assertive and demanding. Knowing what they want and don’t want. In fact many women like this in a man and search for this type of attitude (to a certain extent of course). But as for women who also possess these qualities they are considered arrogant, bossy and bitchy. Men enjoy the passivity that many women have so when a select few calls them out, and is assertive on what they want these become negative traits. All because the man feels threatened. They should be the ones who wear the pants and has all the say so. They are the “alpha male” *beats on chest*. But there’s a reason why women can wear both the skirt and the pants.

It is apparent that who ever made up these rules of nature and how men and women should be didn’t think it through. And I’m guessing they were also a man. These double standards don’t seem to be removing themselves from the societal circle any time soon. Women are subjected to these double standards and those who fail to follow often suffers the consequences.

Miquira J.

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#HipHop4Her: When Size Zero Is Too Small (VID)

There’s always these weight loss diets and pills to take to shrink your waist. Obesity is a huge problem in America, with 39 percent of people overweight and 13 percent obese. So while voluptuous women are busy trying to be skinny, there are skinny people breaking their backs to gain weight. As much as the idea of being small excites people, it’s hard being the skinny girl. Skinny girls are tired of being stuffed in the corner of the backseat of the car. Tired of hearing people say, “You need to eat more,” or “aren’t you a size zero?” Yet it would be rather impudent of us to respond like “Shouldn’t you eat less?” Society feels that skinny people have nothing to complain about at all, but they do. It wouldn’t kill to add a little pounds. There are skinny girls who are insecure the same way thick or voluptuous girls are.

There’s the issue of not being taken seriously. A skinny woman, who is 22 years old, will look like a 16 year old to a guy. All because she doesn’t have the “ideal” 22 year old body. So they eat everything in sight just to try and gain two pounds. But all that food seems to go nowhere, thanks to genetics that makes them predisposed. Now there’s no hate towards the curvier women it’s just skinny women struggle too. I myself struggled with gaining weight so I know how annoying and frustrating it can be. Every time I went to the doctor I was always under the average weight for my age. The torment I suffered in middle school stuck with me and made me insecure about my weight. Despite all my family and friends telling me I look good. I still wanted to gain more weight.

So I took to Google. If you are trying to gain weight you should look up ways to gain weight that will work for you. You should check your BMI index to see how much calories you need to gain weight. Eating at least six times a day will do the trick. Eat your normal breakfast, lunch and dinner with snacks in between. I like to eat peanut butter sandwiches or peanut butter with pretzels, since peanut butter is packed with protein. Eating fruit like pineapples and oranges, whole grain bread, and nuts also help with weight gain. If you feel like you won’t have the appetite to eat six times a day, trying taking some Apetol it will open your appetite.

Surprisingly working out can help as well. Most of the time it is used to lose weight, but working out can build muscle to add on to your weight. While working out, drinking protein shakes, or drinks like nutriment or muscle milk can aid in building muscle. If you’re that tired of being smaller than 100 pounds along with the smart remarks perhaps it’s time to try gaining weight. You must be committed in order to see change; there will be a difference.

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#HipHop4Her: Being A Threat To The Female Race

Females have a tendency to do this thing. I say thing because there’s no specific name for it. It is this prejudice, stereotypical, assumption about other females. I only know because it has happened to me plenty of times. Females judge the female who is confident, into her self, beautiful, fashionable, with the resting bitch face. “She’s stuck up, she’s a bitch, or she thinks she’s all that.” Mean while the girl that’s being judged is nothing like what they make her out to be. She could be the most down to earth, friendly, and modest person. But females are so quick to judge each other off appearance, rather than giving the person a chance.

There are a lot of reasons for the quick judgment given by women. It could be insecurity, intimidation, jealousy or straight up hating. Women fail to support and uplift one another, there is a constant competition going on. Why is it that women feel threatened by those who hold themselves to a higher stature?

Men have been known to compete with one another, whether it is healthy or unhealthy. They compete over the physicality and status of life. Women compete over who has the better clothes, shoes, attractiveness and personality. So of course women are going to feel threatened when one woman has more of a quality than they do. There are five main characteristics that can make a woman a threat to another woman.

  1. Beauty: Being beautiful is both a blessing and a curse. Other females are more likely to make up a reason not to like you because they feel threatened by your looks. Any single female is going to consider you as competition for the most eligible bachelor. Weight also plays a factor in being beautiful, if you have the summer body all year around other girls will be green with envy.
  2. Brains: If you’re beautiful and educated that’s a double threat. It’s intimidating to be around a female that is very into her books. Whether it is library or text book. Especially if you’re friends with her. But this can also motivate you to do better in class, read the newspaper more often and learn some new dictionary words.
  3. Fashion Forward: If you stay up on the latest fashion trends and are giving endless chic-ness then yes, be prepared for the stare downs. You’ll have females wishing they were you with the way you dress.
  4. Confidence: Nothing is wrong with being confident and loving your self. That’s what you should be doing. Confident, is different from being an egotistical bitch always remember that.
  5. Strong personality: Letting everyone know who you are and not being sorry for it can make other women feel intimidated by you. Making it less likely for you to be invited to girls night out, or sleep overs.

If you’re a woman who possesses all of these qualities consider your self a predator and other females the prey. There’s absolutely no reason to feel bad about having desired traits, even if other females don’t like you. You will find a group of females who are just like you, that will uplift you and appreciate you just as much as you appreciate them.